Judy Bessler
My friendship role model
Judith Eileen Soyka was born in 1947 to Fred Soyka (1915-2013) and Carolyn Uhlfelder (1917-2015) in New York. Her dad was a German Jew who escaped the Nazi rise to power by skiing over the Alps, eventually making it to New York in 1938.
Judy’s parents, Steve’s parents, and mine traveled in the same social circle in the 1960s, all of whom were members of the Old Westbury Golf Club. As children of their parents' friends, Steve and I were casually acquainted with Judy and her brother. When we were out of college and married, our paths crossed again while visiting our families in Lake Worth Florida. Judy and her husband were there with their toddler son and we all immediately connected – talking, playing tennis, sitting around the pool and sharing meals. We exchanged phone numbers and stayed in close touch after that including planning our next trips to Florida to overlap.
Over time Judy became pregnant with her second child. Sometime during her 6th month she was not well, and was admitted to the hospital for an evaluation. There she was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. Because treatment needed to start immediately, the baby had to be delivered right away. Although he was too premature to survive, this baby can be credited with saving Judy’s life.
After overcoming the challenge of completing all the Hodgkins cancer protocols of radiation and chemotherapy, Judy and her husband were given medical approval to have another child which was unheard of in those years. She gave birth to a healthy baby and today her daughter is a successful adult with a husband and children of her own – a true miracle and a true blessing.
Unfortunately, radiation treatment in the 1970s was not as precise as it is now, and as a result Judy had lung and later heart damage that stalked her for the rest of her life. She died in 2022 at the age of 73. She was the mother of two, and the adoring grandmother of 5.
Judy was a talented multi-sport athlete and coach. But friendship was her greatest strength and she had a dedicated circle of beloved friends around the country upon whom she left a lasting impact. I am proud to say I was Judy’s friend. We never lived close to one another and it was challenging to stay in touch in the era before texting and Facebook. But she was skilled – way better than me for sure – at not letting a lot of time go by between phone calls. It was always a happy day when I would pick up the phone and hear “Hi Marge it’s Judy B.” That simple act was a master class in demonstrating care, affection and interest. Now, with Judy as my model, I strive to take more initiative to connect with people. Every time I do that I am reminded of her. I miss her a lot.
Marge and Steve Goldin have been members of TBT for over 30 years. They are the parents of 2 sons and the grandparents of 2 grandsons. As many of their friends and family have spread out from Long Island they work – improving all the time - to stay connected.
Judith Eileen Soyka was born in 1947 to Fred Soyka (1915-2013) and Carolyn Uhlfelder (1917-2015) in New York. Her dad was a German Jew who escaped the Nazi rise to power by skiing over the Alps, eventually making it to New York in 1938.
Judy’s parents, Steve’s parents, and mine traveled in the same social circle in the 1960s, all of whom were members of the Old Westbury Golf Club. As children of their parents' friends, Steve and I were casually acquainted with Judy and her brother. When we were out of college and married, our paths crossed again while visiting our families in Lake Worth Florida. Judy and her husband were there with their toddler son and we all immediately connected – talking, playing tennis, sitting around the pool and sharing meals. We exchanged phone numbers and stayed in close touch after that including planning our next trips to Florida to overlap.
Over time Judy became pregnant with her second child. Sometime during her 6th month she was not well, and was admitted to the hospital for an evaluation. There she was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. Because treatment needed to start immediately, the baby had to be delivered right away. Although he was too premature to survive, this baby can be credited with saving Judy’s life.
After overcoming the challenge of completing all the Hodgkins cancer protocols of radiation and chemotherapy, Judy and her husband were given medical approval to have another child which was unheard of in those years. She gave birth to a healthy baby and today her daughter is a successful adult with a husband and children of her own – a true miracle and a true blessing.
Unfortunately, radiation treatment in the 1970s was not as precise as it is now, and as a result Judy had lung and later heart damage that stalked her for the rest of her life. She died in 2022 at the age of 73. She was the mother of two, and the adoring grandmother of 5.
Judy was a talented multi-sport athlete and coach. But friendship was her greatest strength and she had a dedicated circle of beloved friends around the country upon whom she left a lasting impact. I am proud to say I was Judy’s friend. We never lived close to one another and it was challenging to stay in touch in the era before texting and Facebook. But she was skilled – way better than me for sure – at not letting a lot of time go by between phone calls. It was always a happy day when I would pick up the phone and hear “Hi Marge it’s Judy B.” That simple act was a master class in demonstrating care, affection and interest. Now, with Judy as my model, I strive to take more initiative to connect with people. Every time I do that I am reminded of her. I miss her a lot.
Marge and Steve Goldin have been members of TBT for over 30 years. They are the parents of 2 sons and the grandparents of 2 grandsons. As many of their friends and family have spread out from Long Island they work – improving all the time - to stay connected.
